Study: Liberals Have Mental Issues

I have come to realize that many liberals are mentally unstable and in many cases, deranged; but it’s always nice to have a university help point it out. A research study was conducted by a dream researcher at the John F. Kennedy University in California that found key differences in the sleep patterns of liberals and conservatives. Those differences have led Kelly Bulkeley to believe that liberals may be ‘hanging on the edge of well-being’.

"While some of my colleagues think my research reinforces the stereotype of repressed, uptight conservatives, it also shows that many liberals may be hanging on the edge of mental well-being," Mr. Bulkeley said. "There may be a lot of hidden distress and unpleasantness in the liberal mind."

Mr. Bulkeley discovered that liberals tend to have a higher number of bizarre, surreal dreams while Conservatives are having more mundane and realistic dreams. "Conservatives seem to have more of a focus on the here and now and the material world whereas liberals, in contrast, seem to have a much wider sphere of imaginative activity," he said. In my opinion, this could be why so many people on the left are stuck in a naive fairlyland of twisted logic. They transfer their bizarre dream-world into the real world and that’s how we get theories like Bush blew up the levees in New Orleans to kill all the black people and Bush planned 9/11 to go to war in Iraq. It’s all starting to make sense now…

But if you’re hesitant to believe my theory, maybe an accounting of a liberal nightmare will change your mind: The study includes some of the dreams recounted by liberals, such as the following nightmare: "I was at a presidential rally where George W. Bush was speaking. There was so much red, white and blue. Bush speaks: 'There are those who say that we are giving up our civil liberties. But I say, we should be proud to sacrifice our freedoms for America!' The crowd went wild, clapping, cheering and waving flags. I awoke in a cold sweat."

No wonder they are so angry, defensive, paranoid, and conspiracy-driven. Some people have nightmares about drowning or dying but the left has let their own Bush Derangement seep into their subconscious; or maybe it’s the other way around. Either way, it sure explains a lot.