Canadian PM: Bono Can Suck My Ass

Stephen Harper is trying to run a country. He doesn’t have time to listen to douchebag singers and their oversized sunglasses. Now if all the world’s leaders would take a page from Harper, we will be much better off.

HEILIGENDAMM, Germany - You can stop staring hopefully at that phone, Bono. Prime Minister Stephen Harper will not be calling.

Harper, a somewhat wooden figure regularly mocked for his lack of flair, told reporters on Thursday that meeting Bono was not a priority.

"I've got to say that meeting celebrities isn't kind of my shtick, that was the shtick of the previous guy," said Harper in a dig at his Liberal predecessor Paul Martin, who met Bono regularly.

"I hope we do it at some point but my principle focus in public policies is not kind of to meet celebrities," added the prime minister, a Conservative.


And El Bano, no matter how much good you do in this world, it will never make up for the years of crappy music we have had put up with.