Obama Blames GOP in Hopscotch Deaths

This morning President Obama blamed Senate Republicans for the deaths of 27 kids during a school yard hopscotch game.

The beloved childhood activity took a bizarre twist when John Boehner slapped a youngster after the boy claimed his mom was upset because the GOP refused to pay for her birth control and then denied her access to an abortion; forcing the mother to give birth to him. From there, all hell broke lose! 

The line at the end of the last hop point was backed up. dozens of kids were smashed together; creating a funnel of destruction and despair. 5 kids, including two girls suffocated under the immense pressure. 12 survivors made it out alive but unfortunately, 27 perished.